One way to tone down the rhetoric is for the political talking heads to get back to changing minds rather than seeking attention.
After the assassination attempt on former President Trump, there has been a rightful call to turn down the political heat and division in the United States. Elected officials and opinion makers across the political spectrum have condemned political violence and called for unity. This of course is the right response, but many don’t think it will last. The problem is that in our desire to be heard online we lost our ability to have a civil discussion.
You would think if the point of giving your political opinion was to persuade others to your way of thinking - we would be much better at it. We’ve lost the art of persuasion and have mastered the put down. How did we get so far down the rabbit hole?
Many will point to social media and while it is the main culprit, I can’t give them all the blame. We have to be better as citizens and not take the bait. Yes, the media have dug the hole, but we are the ones that have jumped right in.
The hateful comment cesspool section on social media may seem like proof of a society in decline. Dipping your toe in that mess can certainly lead to that conclusion, but it's not how people interact in person and its nothing new. Go back and look at the hate mail Jackie Robinson would get or any transformative public figures from our past. Sadly, the hate has always been there, but before it required an address, a stamp, and a walk to a mailbox. Your audience was limited to a few people who even bothered to read your bile. Now social media has made it easier for haters to send their immediate thoughts out from anywhere and anytime to a potential audience of millions. Getting something off our chest used to be good enough, but now social media has learned that if a hater yells in a forest and no one hears it - they don’t make any money?
Rage gets attention and increases engagement so social media companies amplify it. Users' feeds are littered with triggers they know will either elicit a reaction or at the very least keep you scrolling. Now the content creators are playing along too and crafting messages they know will get amplified for more attention and the potential for more money for themselves. Since negative rage sells more than being positive nuance, bad actors look for attention by posting outrageous, partisan takes, throwing chum in the water waiting for the opposition to take the bait. Sadly, many do. There is no exchange of ideas, just outrage. Some of these inflammatory writers have the audacity to sound dismayed by the vitriol their post has stirred even though they got exactly what they wanted.
The best thing you can do with a closed minded partisan on social media is ignore them. You’re only helping their side get more attention by engaging and trying to own them. You may think a post being ratioed (flooded with negative comments) would be bad for the writer, but bad actors don’t care about your opinion- they only want attention. Don’t give it to them.
The same problem exists in mainstream media where pundits will play the same game. Too many have given the wrong impression that persuasion is done with shock. They treat what should be an exchange of ideas like a team sport. They must represent their side and get their talking points out so their side can nod their heads. Preconceived ideas are not changed or challenged, only reinforced with hot takes.
Our leaders also get blamed for the corrosive nature of political discourse. But they are scapegoats for the media and ourselves. They have changed their approach to tap into the anger. Leaders once elected, use to drop the convention speeches and speak to the entire country. Trump briefly tried that when elected, but quickly reverted back to the campaigner when in power. In Canada, Trudeau routinely chides anyone who may not follow his vision for the country as dangerous and enjoys the use of political wedge issues to galvanize his base. I wouldn’t look for them to change their behavior anytime soon. In many ways they only reflect what the public wants, so it’s still on us to do better.
While many call for people to take their anger down a notch, I haven’t heard much on how to do that. A way to start is getting people who actually want to win hearts and minds to lean into that and ignore the click baiters. If so much is at stake right now in our democracy, wouldn't it be advantageous for whatever side you're on to get more people to join your team. Last I checked the team with the most votes usually wins. So let’s get back to changing minds, not hardening them.
While I am not an expert on the art of persuasion, I have worked in sales and spent a lifetime teaching adolescents so I know a little about what works and a lot more on what doesn’t. Many of my columns express my frustration of how leaders and influencers are great at getting attention and building awareness, but fail miserably in changing minds. Their actions are sometimes so counterproductive that I wonder if they are working for the other team. Many “progressives” lament that we’re going backward, their right - but they need to look in the mirror.
Shaming someone is a terrible motivator unless you want to get them to do the opposite. Say something with a self righteous tone of superiority and you will get a passive aggressive response from most and outright hostility from others. Why not show some humility instead and not take yourself so seriously.
This should be obvious, but enough with the mean girl put downs. They do get attention, but remember what your goal is. Would you try and sell a car by mocking potential customers?
If someone says something that triggers you, why give them any more attention than their comment deserves. Seek out those with open minds and express your independence as well. Today’s issues are too complex to think one side has all the answers. Acknowledge the view from the other side and if you don’t understand it, shut up and listen more.
If we can't keep it civil on social media - then do we need to be there at all. Again, meanness doesn't help your cause and it takes you away from face to face interactions we need. Initial reports suggest the shooter was not a big into social media, but maybe his parents were. We need to spend more time talking with each other and less with a screen. It takes a village of people to raise a child, not followers. We can’t ask kids to get off their devices if we won’t do the same ourselves.
Biden has called for unity and has turned down the heat. Many look to Trump to now do the same. Turning the other cheek saved his life so let’s hope he can do it again. Either way most expect this won’t last and most partisan narcissists can't help themselves.
So it is up to us moderates to grow our base. If we can't help but venture on-line we need to do it with a smile and civility. If we must call someone out, do it by exposing their attention seeking methods, not their content.
Finally we can make it simple and follow one basic rule. Start doing what every religion tells us and do unto others… that would be golden.
Written by the 100% human content of Gregory Cawsey
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